Tom Brady roasted Gisele Bündchen and her jiu-jitsu teacher boyfriend

For reasons that remain mysterious, Tom Brady volunteered to be roasted during a two-and-a-half-hour live Netflix special on Sunday night, and of course everyone took shots at 1) his divorce from Gisele Bündchen, and 2) her new relation. with jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente.

I’m just going to… run through the jokes (via We weekly), I think so!

Kevin Hart: “Tom, you fucked your coach, but let me tell you something, folks… that’s what you gotta do to keep your happiness. You gotta fuck your coach sometimes. You know who else fucked their coach? Gisele .She fucked that karate guy.”

Kevin Hart a few more: “I mean Jesus Christ, Tom. One of the smartest quarterbacks to ever play a game. How did you not see this coming? Eight karate lessons a day. Eight karate lessons a day and she still has a white belt. Fuck Tom. The only bruises she had were on her butt. Everyone should have known.”

Jeff Ross: “(Tom has) so many rings that he can melt them and forge a sword to go on a quest to get Gisele back from that jiu-jitsu teacher.”

Randy Mos: “Your ex-wife’s new boyfriend can beat you up while he eats hers.”

Really some…choices!