Rejected son labels father as terrible father as he responds to family’s glowing tribute to late firefighter

A man who was disowned by his firefighter father has branded him as a terrible parent in a scathing obituary after his death – after his family paid a glowing tribute.

James J. Becker, 81, died in April after serving as a firefighter for decades in Milford, Connecticut. Becker was a Jehovah’s Witness and was described in his obituary as a lover of his faith and a keen outdoorsman. “The quality that many will remember him most fondly for was his love for people,” the obituary, written by his family, also said.

However, the 81-year-old’s son, 42-year-old Timothy McLaughlin, took exception to his family’s tribute and took to the internet to write his own obituary for his late father, in a family war of words. McLaughlin, who was raised under the guidelines of his father’s faith but later left the faith, explained how he was ostracized and shunned by the family for a decade after leaving the religion.

He said his father disowned him on Oct. 1, 2013, and that he had not had “meaningful contact” with his family since then, according to Jehovah’s Witnesses’ shunning policy.

READ MORE: Victim Says She Can Never Forgive Her Jehovah’s Witness Parents For Disowning Her After She Was Raped

“The previous obituary written by the family was highly misleading,” McLaughlin wrote. “It was true that he said that the part of James’ life he valued most was his religion as a Jehovah’s Witness, but it was not stated to what extent… this included denying and shunning his adult son, Timothy, when he chose to leave the religion in October 2013.”

McLaughlin, who is gay and has been married to Joseph McLaughlin for eight years, went on to say that his family chose never to meet his husband or their adopted son.

“The previous obituary also failed to mention my dear husband of eight years, Joseph McLaughlin, whom they never wanted to meet and refuse to acknowledge,” Timothy wrote. “They didn’t attend our wedding, never met our son while we were in foster care, and never set foot in our home (even though our home is welcoming to all!).”

He added that his family’s decision to shun him meant they did not even tell him when his father died.

“None of them even contacted me when my father died,” he added. “I discovered it second hand.”

Despite the challenges, McLaughlin feels compelled to speak out and shed light on his experiences for others who may be struggling with similar situations within the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith.

“I must say that despite all the pain they have caused, my life is full of love and happiness and the loss is truly theirs. I would like to thank all our friends who have expressed their condolences over the past week, despite the complicated circumstances.” He wrote.

McLaughlin’s obituary quickly attracted attention on social media, but was removed from the internet after 24 hours. Legacy, the platform through which he tried to publish it, cited references to family conflicts and negative comments about the deceased as reasons for withdrawing the obituary.

The second obituary was also scheduled to appear in a Connecticut newspaper on Sunday, but was later retracted.

After the decision, McLaughlin seemed unphased, saying his obituary had “served its purpose” because “everyone I would like to see has seen it.”

“Everyone I care about saw it. It served its purpose, took control of the narrative,” McLaughlin told The Morning Call. “Writing that obituary was very cathartic.”

He went on to say that he first came out to his parents when he was 23, and despite the fact that homosexuality is considered a sin in the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith, he was told that in the religion could stay if he remained celibate – something he described as an ‘unnatural expectation’.

“I am not trying to vilify the individuals who are part of the constituency,” McLaughlin clarified. “The organization focuses on some of the kindest, most well-meaning people who are at a vulnerable time in their lives or who are desperate for answers,” he said.

Jehovah’s Witnesses released a statement in response to McLaughlin’s claims stating that followers of the faith “respect the free will and right of every individual to decide what religious beliefs he or she holds.”

“We believe that every individual has the right to change their belief system if they decide to do so. With that in mind, we do not impose our beliefs on anyone,” the statement added.