Husband tells wife it’s her job to watch their children

We talk all the time these days about the “emotional labor” that comes with wifehood and motherhood, and how parenting is a full-time job – at the very least – that is not only unpaid, but often unappreciated. But no matter how much we talk about it, and no matter how often times change, the expectations placed on mothers are too often rooted in vastly outdated expectations and gender norms – expectations that turn an already taxing job into one that can become emotionally unbearable.

A resurfaced video that has gone viral on social media platforms provides a surprising insight into this pattern that too many women find all too relatable.

The video shows a wife and mother listening to her husband tell her that “it’s your job” to take care of their children.

The woman in the video was already in town at the time, running errands for her household, while her husband was home with the children. She simply asked him to continue looking after them for an additional house so she could see a friend, a request to which her husband did not respond kindly.

The woman’s husband claimed he doesn’t “know what to do with” their children and demanded she come home.

The mother asked her husband point blank how often she would ever have a social life.

‘How often is it – and be honest – how often do I just come into town with a friend? That never happens,” she said.

Her husband replied, ‘What do you mean? You’re in town now, it happens a lot,” seemingly forgetting that she was in town shopping for their family. Her husband then claimed that he didn’t know what to do with their children and that they “want their mother to cook dinner for them.”

Stunned, the woman asked her husband to explain what he meant, and he angrily said that he was trying to talk to them, but they are three and six and he doesn’t know how.

“This is why I want you to take care of them,” he shouts.

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The woman told her husband he wanted to spend time with his children, but he complained that watching his children does not count as a “day off.”

“Do you think I’ll ever get a day off?” the woman asked her husband. She went on to say that it “boils my blood” that her husband not only didn’t want to spend time with their children, but that he didn’t seem to understand or appreciate how hard she worked.

“The fact that you’re not on the phone right now saying… You’ve worked so hard, go enjoy yourself,” she told him, then exclaimed in shock, “You don’t even want to do that. spend time with them!”

Her husband responded by saying that she was already home fifteen minutes late to cook dinner for the children and give them a bath.

“I just feel like you have a clock on me all the time,” the woman replied.

“I want you to watch the kids,” her husband replied. “That’s your job.”

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The woman admitted to her husband that the amount of effort he puts into both their children and their marriage breaks her heart.

She acknowledged how hard he works to provide for their family financially. But of course there’s more to taking care of a family than just money, and the woman tried to convince her husband that both she and their children need his time too, and that’s an all too common feeling among women and mothers, as the TikTok shows below.

However, it didn’t seem to have any effect on him. He simply responded by telling her that if she didn’t drink with her friends, he could put more time into their relationship.

Exhausted by his bad faith in the conversation, she finally gave in and told him that he had ruined her outing with her friend after all. “I’m coming home so you can do what you want to do,” she told him angrily. He responded by saying, “That’s how it’s meant to be.”

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Experts agree that a conflict like this is a big red flag.

The most striking thing about this couple’s conversation is that they don’t seem to share the same priorities.

In the video below, author and relationship expert Mel Robbins lays out nine issues that she believes indicate a fundamental disconnect and lack of respect between couples. Chief among these is a lack of what she called “shared values.”

“Trust and honesty in a relationship are super important,” Robbins explains, “but so is the fact that you and your partner have a vision for how to create a more meaningful life together.”

And when it comes to their children, commentators who feared that their relationship with their father could be damaged by his apparent lack of interest are probably on to something.

As writer Miranda Rose told us of her own childhood experience with her unhappy parents, “I was never too young to understand. I knew exactly what was happening. Mom and Dad don’t like each other.”

Rose went on to say that she thinks she would have been better off if her parents had divorced, and that it took her into adulthood to understand that not all men are like her father.

Hopefully this woman’s husband can find a way to be there for his wife and children before it’s too late.

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John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.